Seeking God

He’s been gone a mighty long time and I’ve been looking…

Is that him in the white of the cotton dragon chasing a cotton princess against the backdrop of a blue sky?

In the green of the springy grass poking out inquisitively from brown earth

Or maybe that’s him teasing in the unseen wind blowing my hair about my face?

Falling slowly in the fat translucent droplets of water as angels begin to wail?

Surely it can’t be him roaring in the thunder of an unexpectedly stormy day?

Shining in the blaze of the eventually victorious sun chasing away the storm?

Showing off in the vivid colors of the triumphant rainbow?

Lighting up the billions of stars that litter the firmament as night falls?

Wait, could that be him echoing in the infectious giggle of my sister as she recounts another tale?

Or is he the one imprinted in the laugh lines lining Father’s eyes?

Or maybe over here in loving embrace of Mama’s arms?

In the days of old, didn’t they say he was the bread of the poor, wine of the rich?

Could I settle for him being the taste of the warm brownie sundae melting in my mouth on a winter night?

Didn’t they try to convince me that he was in the righteous anger of the imperfect man on the pulpit?

When I thought he’d much rather be found in the calm, uncanny peace of the broken woman in the pew?

Hang on…is that him being lifted by all these hands raised to the heavens in worship?

Is it his name on all these lips moving in litanies spoken in beautiful languages I do not comprehend?

Am I to believe it’s him moving unseen through the multitude as they shudder and fall in awe?

Whew, why ever did I think finding him would be easy like Sunday morning?

Now, now, is that him tugging at my heart as I reflect wistfully on yet-to-be-answered prayers?

Was that a snapshot of him in the conversation I had with my best friend about the meaning of life?

Could I have missed him in the innocence of my childhood, the folly of my youth?

Or perhaps I’ve had it twisted all this time, thinking he left when I’m the one who got lost?

And in that case, should I tarry a while for grace to find and lead me home?

Because he’s been gone a mighty long time and I’m tired of looking…

But hey, what have we here?

What do you know but that I’ve found Him?

Would you believe He’s been right here all along?

Yes, right here,

Moving in the fingers that wrote these lines.

Photo by Ylanite Koppens from Pexels

Published by Lara Brown